Sometimes co-parenting with your ex can be really challenging, even when you know it’s the best way forward for your child. Many newly divorced parents feel a strong urge to be finished with interacting with their former partner once the end of the marriage is finalized, but cutting ties isn’t quite so possible when you share a child. It is important to keep in mind that despite all your differences, the fact that you ended up with joint custody probably indicates one very important thing you have in common with your ex: the desire to do what’s best for the person you brought into the world together. Read on to discover the Mediated Online Solutions team’s tips for effective co-parenting.
1. Show your ex the understanding you’d like for them to show you.
No one is perfect and we can almost guarantee that both parents will make plenty of mistakes along the way. It’s easy to let past resentments get in your way of showing your ex grace when they make a mistake. Try to be aware of the difference between patterns of revenge and manipulation and a simple, honest mistake. Also, try to not let yourself get into a reactive position and get swept up in the other person’s emotional turmoil and lose sight of what you think is best for your child. It’s hard sometimes, but ultimately this tip harkens back to the old saying, “Treat others as you wish to be treated.”
2. Keep your marital relationship separate from your parenting roles.
Remember, this is an adjustment for your child just as it is an adjustment for you. It will help them transition better if you are supportive of one another’s parenting and are respectful of the differences you have in your parenting approaches.. For example, it can be confusing for a child when mom’s rules are vastly different from dad’s rules. Even more confusing for a child is when parents say bad things about one another in front of them. Remember that your words have power and can impact your co-parent’s ability to parent your child.
3. Don’t use your child as a messenger.
Communication is an extremely important part of successful co-parenting. Keep your child out of it. When you use your child to pass messages back and forth, things can get more convoluted. If misunderstandings cause tension between you and your co-parent (or even if it doesn’t and another misinterpretation occurs), your child might feel guilty and caught in the middle. Keep planning and updates between the grownups. Keep doing your part even though you may feel the other parent isn’t always doing theirs.
Contact Whitson Law for More Guidance
If you’re looking for more guidance in co-parenting, divorce, and related matters, the Whitson Law team is here for you! Contact one of our Certified Divorce SpecialistsTM today!
