Let’s be real, in most cases communication of any kind can be strained for divorced couples. But when you add in the level of regular back and forth needed to co-parent, things can go off the rails quickly. Which can impact not only you and your ex but the children as well, if you let it. Fortunately, we have some co-parenting communication tips that help you keep the peace and your sanity. Here are our top five.
- Limit the Cooks in the Kitchen – It’s best to limit all-important child-rearing decisions to you and your ex. You’re the parents, after all. Not to say that step-parents and family members shouldn’t be part of or participate in the children’s lives, but having the whole family involved in every decision can make co-parenting communication even more difficult.
- Act Like Co-CEOs – Because you are, in fact, sharing the most important job ever, raising your children. If you can get in the mindset of communicating like business colleagues instead of exes it’s easier to be polite and respectful. Keep the co-parenting communication focused on the children with no commentary on your personal lives.
- Put It in Writing – It may be overkill to make a record of every interaction, but we do recommend putting important co-parenting communications in writing so there’s no confusion or miscommunication. However, you’ll still want to keep it short and focused; one to two topics only. And again, on child-rearing alone.
- Stick To The Facts – Regardless of how valid your opinions are, sticking to the facts in your co-parenting communication leaves less room for argument. To be even more specific, leave out any insulting, sarcastic, and profane language as well. Essentially, you want to ask yourself if you’d be comfortable with the judge who’s deciding custody reading your communications. If the answer is no, then you don’t want to interact in that way.
Be Clear in Co-Parenting Communication – This may really be the most important point because it’s often misunderstanding or assuming that causes some of the biggest co-parenting issues. So, whether you’re speaking verbally or in written communication, make sure to specifically state why you’re contacting and what you are seeking. Include the who, what, where, where, why, and how succinctly. If your ex is contacting you, respond clearly as well.
Improving Co-Parenting Communication Using Mediation
However, if after trying these tips, you and your ex still struggle, it might be time to consider mediation to resolve some of your co-parenting issues. In this process, you and your co-parent enlist a neutral third party trained in effective communication strategies to help you negotiate amicably towards an agreement.
A mediator is often a welcome alternative to getting your lawyers involved and litigating the situation in court. What’s more, we offer fully virtual coaching for added flexibility and convenience – you don’t even have to be in the same room!
To see how we can help with your co-parenting communication, contact our experienced team today for a free consultation.
