By Maria Natapov, “The Nurturing Strategist”
BeH2O® Certified Co-Parenting and Stepparenting Coach
I Remember My Husband Telling Me He Fell to His Knees in Despair…
Before we met, my husband was in the thick of his divorce – no custody order, no structure, no clarity. His parenting time with his daughter was unpredictable. Sometimes weeks passed with no contact.
He told me he would come home, drop his keys, and fall to his knees in grief.
“I feel like I’m losing her.”
“What if I never see her again?”
“What if she forgets me?”
Years later, his daughter shared that even short stretches between visits felt like months. She was scared. Confused. And deeply unsettled by the tension she sensed anytime her mom mentioned her dad.
Both of them were in pain, and neither had the structure or language to feel safe.
Most Families Don’t Need More Love, They Need a System
This is where BeH2O® would have changed everything.
Because it wasn’t that anyone didn’t care. It’s that caring without clarity causes chaos.
What BeH2O® offers is a child-centered roadmap that helps parents:
- Define shared parenting goals (WHY)
- Communicate clearly and calmly (HOW, using the CLEAR™ method)
- Create mutual boundaries that reduce tension (WHAT)
It replaces guesswork with grounding.
So your child doesn’t have to carry the emotional burden of your separation.
What the Research Actually Shows
When both parents are safe and willing, research supports that:
- Children benefit most from having healthy, meaningful contact with both parents, especially in low-conflict environments (Nielsen, 2018; APA).
- Emotional well-being is not just about custody schedules, but about emotional safety, communication quality, and clarity (Amato, 2000; Kelly & Emery, 2003).
- Children interviewed in post-divorce studies say they want to be heard, have predictable routines, and not feel caught in the middle (Smart & Neale, 1999).
What About Parents Who Say, “They’re Better Off Without Them”?
This is real. I’ve heard it. You may have thought it yourself.
Not out of malice – but out of hurt, fear, or protective instinct.
And in some cases – where there’s abuse, coercive control, or ongoing harm – distance is the only safe option.
But when safety is not the issue, research suggests that:
- Cutting out the other parent can increase anxiety, identity confusion, and inner conflict for the child.
- Children do best when they’re not forced to reject a parent they still love (Johnston & Kelly, 2004).
- When one parent controls access without clear reason, it often backfires emotionally, even if it feels protective in the moment.
A more empowering lens:
“How can I protect my child without teaching them to erase a part of themselves?”
That’s what BeH2O® helps navigate – with boundaries, not blame.
The Cost of Not Having a System Is Too High
That’s the heart of BeH2O®.
In our family, things only truly shifted when my daughter – now my adopted child – bravely named the neglect she’d endured and set boundaries for herself. That was the turning point.
But we didn’t have a framework back then. We were reacting. Waiting. Hoping.
If we’d had BeH2O®, we might have:
- Set boundaries sooner
- Communicated without fear of escalation
- Created peace without needing to sever connections too soon
Divorce Doesn’t Have to Steal Childhood
BeH2O® isn’t a magic fix.
It’s a structured, strategic way to reduce chaos and increase clarity during one of the most fragile moments in a family’s life.
And if you’re reading this as a parent or stepparent feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure how to protect your child without fueling conflict, this framework is for you.
Because harmony isn’t an accident.
It’s something you build – with courage, with structure, and with systems that hold even when your heart is hurting.
Want to learn how BeH2O® can help your family right now?
Let’s talk. I’ll walk you through it… without judgment, without overwhelm, just clarity.
Maria Natapov,
BeH2O Certified Co-Parenting and Stepparenting Coach
www.SynergisticStepparenting.com
Maria@SynergisticStepparenting.com
(617) 419-0878